Bernard Madoff has a ‘prison consultant’ to help on where he should serve his 150 year sentence.

It is not clear from the report (thanks Nikki Pender for the link) whether the consultant has a direct influence on the outcome, or just helps counsel to know where to ask for, and where not.

What an inspiration for New Zealand. Why leave the private sector to profit when the state could run the service itself? Presumably insiders know better than anyone which prisons are the shockers, and which are not. Perhaps the advisory service could be offered by the prison unions. There are two, so there’d be healthy competition.

Judith Collins could cut the process short by auctioning placements. That could defray new prison building costs.

Prisoners can influence where they go now. They can get to a Maori immersion unit by acquiring a deep interest in culture, or a faith-based unit by a conversion experience, to to Te Piriti by expressing willingness to undergo sex predator therapy.

Perhaps if Minister Collins’ department moves fast enough prisoners with means could order and pay for the container of their choice now. When they leave it could bear a plaque with their name, like family pews in some old churches, and Embassy Theatre seats.

It could be moved as the sponsor advances his criminal career. There could be a hitch though when the prison/parole/court cycle rreaches its zenith –  the most serious prison, Paremoremo, is not set up for containers.

Nevertheless, caring fathers could still provide for their sons and even mokopuna, with a family container reserved against the day.